small fragments

I wish I could write music. The beautiful legato notes sprinkled with staccato accents. Somehow the harmony blends so well with the melody. The lyrics can strike something deep in your heart, a place you never knew existed. I want talk to people through my words while making something beautiful.

It's odd how when good and bad things are happening in our lives, we choose to focus on the bad. We hear something good, and something bad. The news we hear that affects us the most is the bad news. I think humans crave horrific things. We like things happening. Without it, there would be no drama or excitement. We as beings of this earth like bad things to happen to know that we are still alive.

Millions of people read the same book you're reading. Those words strung into sentences have been thought about mused by many before you. When I read a book, I think, "My friend has read this exact sentence." I try and imagine what they were doing at the time they read it. Were they standing in the bathroom, brushing their teeth, or laying in bed, their music softly playing in the background. Or were they in complete silence, reading it during school.

Do you ever just sit there and all of a sudden realize how lucky you are? You have food, you have clothes, you go to school. These simple essentials we take for granted, even have grown to loathe. School for example. Nobody likes it. But think about your life if you had never set foot into one of these. Sure, you would be fine never knowing the Pythagorean Theorem, or the entire year or Geometry, but what about simple addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division? Without school, think about shopping, how difficult that would be. We are truly a blessed country. But with this blessing comes ignorance of other countries struggles, pity for the less wealthy in our own country, and scorn for the people in our families.

My thoughts come in little bursts. You noticed that, when I was at your house last week. We were doing homework together in the little study room next to the front door of your house. I would sit very still in silence, then out of the blue type very fast and then stop. After 5 minutes of thinking I would do it again. You told me I typed fast. And I told you I only typed fast when I knew what I was trying to say. Then you asked why I only typed for a short period of time. I couldn't answer that. I don't know why I do.

Sometimes organized isn't always good. The best things are not always planned. I can agree with these things. I love chaos and confusion. It makes us feel alive and know we exist. I believe everyone likes these moments of uncertainty. It's something everyone lives for, even if they don't know it. We want to know we are here and need something to remind us we are. People may self-harm, others do daring things to know they are not just a wisp of a person. Some of us just know we aren't nothing and don't feel the need to do these things. Even if they aren't doing the deed, I believe something out there is somehow showing them they are whole. I want to everyone to know they are whole, they are here, they exist, and they are living.

love, savannah