the hardest sport

The hardest sport on yourself I truly believe is ballet. You have so many people judging you. Every time I say I do ballet, I feel like everyone looks at me and thinks "SHE does ballet? She must not be very good because she does not look like a ballerina." I can feel all the stereotypes. Every time I eat a lot, I can feel the eyes burning into me and I can tell they are all thinking about how I'm going to get fat because ballerinas don't eat. Ballerinas have to be skinny. Ballerinas have to have long legs. One day you're going to look at me and realize that I don't fit the stereotype. I hear these things so many times, I start to believe it myself. When you have everyone else judging you, it's hard not to see these things. As if that's not enough, we look in the mirror at the minimum, 15 hours a week, just at class. We nitpick every single flaw we have. We have memorized the shape of our bodies. We know exactly how big and long every limb of our body is compared to the others. You don't have to make comments about what we look like, trust me, we know. We know when we eat a lot for lunch, you can see it. Ballet is the hardest sport because everything is based off of things you can't change. You will NEVER get a job if you have curves. If you have short legs? Forget about trying to be a professional ballerina, it will never happen. Other sports, you can make up for physical lacking. but for ballerinas, you have to look the part. Ballet is the only sport where what you look like determines how good you are. Ballerinas are a selective group of people who get to feel the wrath of their brain. We stare in the mirror 15 hours a week just to look prettier. All you girls who say you wish you did ballet, you don't know what you escaped. You escaped 15 hours of self hate. You escaped not eating the day important people teach class. You escaped not being able to quit because you're addicted to trying to obtain perfectness.

love, savannah