it reminds me

These warm spring days remind me of you and the sun makes me want to write. I walked to the airport last week. I hadn't sat at that bench since you and I watched the planes take off. I saw more than we did that day. I'm sorry I don't reply anymore, it's just that I never know what to say. I tell myself that I wish you had never kissed me. But I know it's not true. Those are my favorite memories to think about. I don't know what I did to evaporate what we had. Maybe the timings not right. Again. It's getting hard to believe that the timing will ever work out. Maybe we're ready to let go of trying. I sit here with lakes in my eyes just trying to figure out what to do next. I feel so conflicted.

My garage door won't close sometimes so I have to walk around from the back of the house to the driveway. Every time I do, I pass the spot where we made out and I somehow scraped my knee on a rock and my mom got home so I had to run behind the house to get all of the dirt and twigs out of my hair. I think it's funny how two years ago, we were making out any time we could, spending every free day with each other. Now we can't even get the nerve to say hi. It's funny how two months ago we were hanging out every weekend, and holding hands. Now we don't even sit by each other. What the hell happened? We just faded. The sick thing is that I predicted this. I knew that this would happen. It happens every single time. I'm tired of this but I'm not sure how to fix it.

I don't know.

Love,
Savannah