this ache in my back is a constant reminder

They say if a traumatic event happens, you can get a physical block , and the muscles in a specific spot don't work like the rest.
My upper back stopped working correctly two years ago. When you broke my heart the first time. It got worse after that; after you shot fire through my spine with your kiss and set fireworks off in my stomach, then left without a word. I try to appear like I don't care, like I'm over you, but this ache in my back is a constant reminder. Nobody took my feeling seriously. They think we were just some little kids who didn't know what they were doing. But we were quite the opposite, we knew exactly what we were doing, planning each move strategically. We were realists, knowing that we were merely 14 years old and things wouldn't last. But what we felt for each other, it still hasn't burned out. We've been trying to extinguish it for 3 years, yet the flames won't disperse. We tell them, "Not again", "Please don't burn me", but this cycle is vicious and never ending. I keep thinking if we had closure, my back would heal. But we're still in the middle of this and we're not sure how to feel. There is no end in sight and you can't close something that hasn't had the ending written yet.This brick in my back is on the middle left side of my back. Right behind my heart. You see, when you did this to me, Josh, you didn't just break my heart, you completely changed how the muscles protecting my heart work. You physically broke me. And I don't know how to tell people I am still suffering because they won't understand. I loved you.
I still do.

Love, Savannah